Things I’m Going to Do This Weekend

Not stand up all that much.

Pulled three doubles in three days covering for a friend yesterday. That’s somewhere between 40 and 50 hours on my poor little feetses.

Also on the agenda:

• Get so drunk that I fall down and/or text something that will be greenlit on textsfromlastnight.com
• Get sun stroke on Sunday.
• Purchase twelve black American Apparel shirts and iron on contact printer paper so that I can eventually make customized shirts with offensive mottos for each of the four parties I work. For example, “I Freestyle Mondayed Your Mother Last Night,” or “I Wish More of the Ugly People at Camouflage Would Dress in the Spirit of the Party.”
• Drunk movie review, Saturday afternoon.