Miss(ed) Manners

Ask Dave!

I’ve been trying to break into the iron curtained good old girls’ club of advice columns since before I can I remember. Usually people don’t like my brand of nonsensical but insightful counseling. Sometimes there is only one way to skin a cat and it’s usually messy, because cats don’t like to be skinned and they have claws and teeth.

If you’re hankering to have your most profound life issues dissected under the laser beam that is my gargantuan intellect, please, contact me. If you could start the letter with, “Dear Dave” and then end it with one of those cute nicknames (Feverish in Fargo, for example), I’d really appreciate it.

Feel free to expect the most genuine and impressive advice you’ve ever dreamed of. You will not be let down.

Yours in geniusry,

-Dave, Miss(ed) Manners

(Use the form below to send me questions)


  1. Dear Dave,
    I have a third testicle that speaks in a loud little voice and says the most foul and truthful things. While I can live with this and even can even appreciate it (I never feel like a lonely soul anymore!) “little groucho” might get me in trouble the next time I get pulled over by the pigs. What is the best course of action?: stern admonishment of “LG” or a divorce via a syringe of Lydocaine and a ballpeen hammer? Please respond ASAP as we both are in the mood for crime.

    Comment by grouchosuave — April 6, 2007 @ 1:07 am | Reply

  2. When referring to an MC, which is correct: master of ceremony or master of ceremonies?


    Comment by Joseph — April 20, 2007 @ 4:45 pm | Reply

  3. when the hell are you gonna answer my “Ask Dave” question?

    Comment by BluJewel — May 22, 2007 @ 8:57 am | Reply

  4. My husband was in Philadelphia and picked up their weekly “City Pages” newspaper, which includes a wonderful, funny sex-advice column called Savage Love. When he showed it to me, I immediately thought of “Ask Dave” and thought your readers might like it, too; they just need to be aware that it’s incredibly graphic. But you’re pretty damned graphic, too.😀

    Comment by tiffanytaylor — July 23, 2007 @ 12:49 pm | Reply


    Comment by xcalabur — September 1, 2007 @ 3:31 pm | Reply

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