I received a few phone calls the other night from friends telling me that I’d been quoted in Time magazine. Of course the first question I had was, “Is there a picture? Do I look fabulous?” The answer being, “No, but you always look fabulous, Dave. How do you do it?” Sixty to seventy alcoholic drinks a week. That’s how, Mom.
What a bizarre bit of happenstance. The quote comes from a column I wrote a little over two years ago. It’s way in the back, teeny tiny and they put my name in quotation marks, as in, “Dave.” If that IS my real name.
Anyways, thanks Time! Though a little warning would have been awesome. With the whole candy sculpture thing still being front page around here, I feel like the guy that walked into his surprise party dressed in full on Furry gear.
So, what are some of my first words ever printed in a nationally circulated publication? One’s “crotch,” and the other’s “punch.”
Stay classy, “Dave.”