Miss(ed) Manners

October 3, 2008

Hacker

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 9:51 pm

Have had a nasty little cough the last couple days, just like I get every year whenever the weather goes cold. I swear, I’ve got a Constitution score of 6.

I’ve tried every herbal remedy known to man. Unfortunately, the only one that will actually work, I’m not about to do. I like smoking way too much.

There’s a little bit of personal pride involved in hacking up something that’s a few rungs up the evolutionary ladder. You can cough and cough and work at until it breaks free like Sting out of the Police.

So I’ll wheeze along for a few more days, it’ll give me something to complain about, and it’ll definitely give me an excuse for passing on ridiculous group brunches or theme parties.

The taste of Halls cough drops will forever remind me of Sabbath church and rooting around in the bottom of my mother’s Guatemalan woven grass purse. They’d always be loose and hard to find, sometimes mummified in their wrappers after months of neglect and warm weather. Menthol and Jesus are an intoxicating memory.

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