Miss(ed) Manners

August 19, 2008

O.F.F. Part 4

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 10:22 pm

Finally got to catch a little table tennis on UHD last night. Fuck sprinting. You want speed? Watch two grown men play a child’s game at the Olympic level.

*ping*

*pong*

*ping*

*pong*

*ping*

*pong*

PONG!

It’s a sport so awesome the world’s first video game was made about it. If they’d figured out how to license John Madden’s voice back then he’d have been all over it, explaining how the guy who gets the pixelated cube past the pixelated rectangle more than the other guy will generally be the guy who wins, like Brett Favre.

I LOVE table tennis. It is the only event where I feel any sort of connection. I see running, swimming, volleyball, whatever and I’m here sitting on my couch, smoking and drinking a beer. I can’t do any of those things while smoking and drinking a beer. But table tennis? I can’t play table tennis unless I’m smoking and drinking a beer.
While we’re on the topic, how is table tennis an Olympic sport and foosball isn’t? What the shit? If you’re going to include one frat house basement sport, you’ve gotta have em all. Quarters, too.
PS: Whoever came up with that whole “soundtrack of the Olympics” bullshit needs to get poked in the eye with a dick. Sheryl Crow? Taylor Swift? That’s about as inspiring as a cold sore on your blind date.

2 Comments »

  1. No, you know what, i wanna know why trap shooting is an olympic sport. what physical aspect does it take to stand up and pull a trigger….consciousness??
    i’ve got a 350lb coworker who could be a world class trap shooter….how’d you like to see that. big dave all liquored up weilding a 12guage over under, blasting his way to a gold medal….then deciding that this’d be a great opportunity to hit on the female gymnasts.

    Comment by matt k — August 20, 2008 @ 6:22 pm | Reply

  2. What they need is a Big Brother camera within the Olympic compound for just that reason. Have a live feed on a seperate channel and see what hot mess those atheletes get into.

    Comment by Ally — August 21, 2008 @ 8:51 am | Reply


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