Miss(ed) Manners

August 12, 2008

Olympic Fucking FEVER, Part 2

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 11:47 pm
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Teeny tiny girls’ gymnasties tonight. The epic battle that rages in male pants around the world is legendary. Is it okay to find these girls sexually attractive? How do you draw the line? What happens when you blur that line for the girls over 18 and then get smacked in the face with the Chinese pre-adolescent squad? Do uncross your legs, completely turned off? If not, I suggest making a bee line to a Dateline house and tell Chris Hansen exactly what you’re doing there.

There’s only one other group of women who wear that much glitter and that’s strippers. Just sayin’.

Phelps and crew just broke a world record by five seconds. Somewhere Mike Spitz is trimming his stache in preparation for obscurity. Jesus that’s got to suck, to realize you’re about to be the guy that was the best before the new guy who is now the best. Not to mention that without any world records, you’re kind of just no one. So if you’re reading, Spitz, sorry, bro.

Also, aren’t records being broken every year in swimming? Really, it’s almost like a mini-Moore’s law, where every ten years or so a Michael Phelps type swimmer comes along and makes a quantum frog leap through the pond, smashing world records.

In the 1908 Olympics, the winner swam the 100 Meter Freestyle about twenty seconds slower than they are today. How much faster can these guys go? If there’s another two Spitz/Phelps freaks come along in the next 100 years, will they just start teleporting from one end of the pool to the other while waving their arms around?

4 Comments »

  1. Female gymnastics showcases all that is slightly disturbing in this worlb

    Comment by mylesfromnowhere — August 13, 2008 @ 12:03 am | Reply

  2. Plus this year in swimming they’ve got those new Speedo suits that practically bond themselves into the swimmers’ skin, which is apparently helping a lot of the improved times. But not all — Phelps doesn’t wear the suit for all his swims, and he still breaks a record every time he touches the water.

    Comment by tiffanytaylor — August 13, 2008 @ 7:40 am | Reply

  3. Did you see Deng Linlin and her missing teeth when she smiled?!

    Apparently, screaming at the television is considered rude behavior when watching it with others. Strangely enough…

    103 Degrees,
    Ally

    Comment by Ally — August 14, 2008 @ 10:05 pm | Reply

  4. I fucking love you. This goes for all posts.

    Comment by Tana — August 26, 2008 @ 4:18 pm | Reply


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