Explain this to me: At what point did people go fucking insane and decide that this was a good look for men?
Seriously. How is that attractive? Perhaps someone more fashion conscious could explain it to me. Did frailty somehow become sexy? Should I cancel my gym membership and take up a crippling heroin addiction? I think we can all say that cankles are not sexy on anyone… but has a borderline male fascination with ankles now migrated to the female sex?
This is all the fault of that goddamned Rock N Roll music and those evil motherfucking Rock N Roll musicians. They’ve taken NO responsibility for the heinous fashion trends they’ve created. Leather pants are almost never worn by the right people. You see them on chubby housewives gripping to their last shred of perceived sexuality and chubby Persian club rats, but almost never on hot back up singer types.
Shit, have you seen the shirts that Steven Tyler wears? Next thing you know, accountants are going to be wearing floral print, diaphanous silk blouses too!
There needs to be a Rock Legend Consortium on what looks can be legally coopted by the common public. They could meet bi-monthly (which I’m still not sure if it means twice a month or every other month, but either would work) and pass legally binding fashion rules. David Bowie could lead the Council on Guyliner. Slash could be the Chairman of the Committee on Silly Hats. The guys from ZZ Top could head up the Special Task Force on Ironic Facial Hair.
I have no doubt that they would vote to make it a requirement that in order to wear such skinny pants one would have to have sold at least a million records.
Such draconian measures would be well worth it to keep the rock star look where it belongs, on the stage and off of skinny little douchebags with murses and bad haircuts.