Miss(ed) Manners

July 16, 2008


Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 11:46 pm

Explain this to me: At what point did people go fucking insane and decide that this was a good look for men?

Seriously. How is that attractive? Perhaps someone more fashion conscious could explain it to me. Did frailty somehow become sexy? Should I cancel my gym membership and take up a crippling heroin addiction? I think we can all say that cankles are not sexy on anyone… but has a borderline male fascination with ankles now migrated to the female sex?

This is all the fault of that goddamned Rock N Roll music and those evil motherfucking Rock N Roll musicians. They’ve taken NO responsibility for the heinous fashion trends they’ve created. Leather pants are almost never worn by the right people. You see them on chubby housewives gripping to their last shred of perceived sexuality and chubby Persian club rats, but almost never on hot back up singer types.

Shit, have you seen the shirts that Steven Tyler wears? Next thing you know, accountants are going to be wearing floral print, diaphanous silk blouses too!

There needs to be a Rock Legend Consortium on what looks can be legally coopted by the common public. They could meet bi-monthly (which I’m still not sure if it means twice a month or every other month, but either would work) and pass legally binding fashion rules. David Bowie could lead the Council on Guyliner. Slash could be the Chairman of the Committee on Silly Hats. The guys from ZZ Top could head up the Special Task Force on Ironic Facial Hair.

I have no doubt that they would vote to make it a requirement that in order to wear such skinny pants one would have to have sold at least a million records.

Such draconian measures would be well worth it to keep the rock star look where it belongs, on the stage and off of skinny little douchebags with murses and bad haircuts.



  1. Nice belt buckle you got there Dave. Are you on your way to a nascar event?

    Comment by David — July 17, 2008 @ 4:33 pm | Reply

  2. face it, gay is in. metrosexual, effeminate, emo, whatever the fuck you wanna call it, fashion for men has taken a massive swing to the girlie side. i’m looked down on because i still subscribe to the eddie vedder, kurt cobain school of fashion. i refuse to adapt. grunge is gonna come back right?

    oh and the cowboy hat? yeah don’t ask, i like it, that’s all i’m saying.

    Comment by matt K — July 18, 2008 @ 10:37 am | Reply

  3. Is that you?! You wear that and then kvetch about girls? Are you allowed to do that when you shop in the women’s section?

    I much prefer that magic blue shirt you men all seem to have in your closet with a pair of Levi’s 559.

    Likes Clean Cut,

    P.S. You’re missing the requisite needle tracks to complete your outfit.

    Comment by Ally — July 18, 2008 @ 8:17 pm | Reply

  4. hey MattK – I have loads of gay friends and not a single one of them would dream of appearing in public in that outfit.

    But I will agree with you that metrosexual is a fine look for manly men who want to look clean and groomed for their womenfolk.

    Comment by Augusto — July 19, 2008 @ 4:39 pm | Reply

  5. you’re not agreeing with me agusto, i just shat on the metro style…i fucking hate metro. i believe men should dress like men. guess what, i look good when i want to, and there’s no question that i may be gay. i wear a suit and tie, i wear normal colours (i’ll shoot anyone who comes near me with a pastel shirt…and pink..that’s grounds for crucifixion). i’m comfortable with my reds, blues, greens, blacks and greys.

    metrosexual is a horrible look for manly men who want to look clean and groomed…..know what a good look is?? clean and groomed, not gay.

    i also have many gay friends, and they’re pissed off about the metro movement. remember that southpark episode where garrison goes to kill the queer eye guys??? it’s exactly like that. it’s getting to the point where the gay guys are mad cause the straight guys are gayer than them!

    once again…grunge is the way to go for normal every day fashion. when i wanna look good, i don’t need “product” in my hair. i use the $2 bottle of pert plus, and the $3 bottle of Dep gel. maybe a shot of cologne if i’m really looking to impress someone. but you’re kidding yourself if i’m gonna wear pants that conform to my ass. and tight tee shirts?? not a chance.

    Dave, i’m with you….metro/emo is not a good look for manly men, hell it’s not a good look for girly men. let’s leave the tight pants and shirts where they belong…on the ladies.

    Comment by matt K — July 22, 2008 @ 12:06 pm | Reply

  6. OK.

    That is NOT me. That was a random picture i found on the web after searching for “douchevadge in skinny pants.”

    Secondly, that is not metro. I fucking helped kickstart the whole metrosexual revolution by simply plucking one stray hair from my eyebrows back in ’99. That’s not a gay look, in fact, it’s a decidedly straight trend, ask any ‘mo with a clue.


    Comment by missedmanners — July 22, 2008 @ 9:42 pm | Reply

  7. in any case, metro/emo sucks. men should be men…not pretty…men don’t do pretty. know who was pretty? freddie mercury, he was also about as masculine as paris hilton.

    let’s just agree that men look their best being dirty, grubby and unshaven, and on those rare occasions we drag our selves out of the shit, enjoy it, cause we’re out of our element.

    Comment by matt K — July 25, 2008 @ 10:46 am | Reply

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