Miss(ed) Manners

June 5, 2008

You-A Culpa

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 2:50 pm

The problem with always being right about everything is that you live your life in a series of only slightly satisfying “I told you so” moments.  Sure it’s great to sit there with that smug look on your face as they come to you and say, “oh you were so right about that person,” or “I definitely should have listened to you,” or “you were so right about 30 Rock being the greatest show on television.” But did they listen in time to catch any of season one? No, of course not.

It’s frustrating more than anything.

Not that I don’t completely revel in the “you were so right” moment. That’s nice. But it happens so often that I’ve started to wonder if I’m simply not persuasive enough in my advice giving. Should I use stronger language?

I doubt it. In fact, I’m positive people will refuse to listen correct advice 9 times out of 10. If you give someone good advice their subconscious will recognize it as such and they will promptly ignore it. Humans need to make their own mistakes. They need to proceed down forty doomed career paths in college until accepting that they will never develop the leg muscles of a dancer and accept the assistant manager position at Chili’s.  They need to hang out with that mooching douche mallet you warned about for six months until they realize he owes them four hundred dollars and has stolen their dog. They need to run for president and stay in the race for four months longer than was necessary.

So then what is the point of advice? It exists only to make the ones who are giving it smile an evil little smile on the inside, because it is never, ever, heeded.

Take solace, you other know-it-alls out there, we told ’em so.

1 Comment »

  1. I told you to stay away from her dude =P

    Comment by Keith — June 5, 2008 @ 5:00 pm | Reply


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