Miss(ed) Manners

June 2, 2008

HOT

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 11:23 pm

Finally.

I’m locking all my coats, shells, windbreakers and sweaters in a large metal container until October.

I’m languishing in my little cubby hole of a bedroom sweating into my sheets and loving every second of it. It’s hot out there, bitches.

I saw legs yesterday. Thousands of emancipated legs on untanned girls singing devotionals about being delivered from their months long servitude under denim masters. Knees, too. So many knees.

If I never see a turtleneck again it’ll be too soon.

There’s nowhere to hide that embarrassing rash anymore, summer’s here my slightly scaly friend, get some ointment. It’s time to revel in back sweat and hair that doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. It’s time to drink outside not because you got thrown out of your house for mentioning out loud how you’d like to dust off Barbara Walters’ cobwebs in front of your wife, but because you want to.

It’s time to make fuck outside.

You heard me. Get on that my friends. Ring in June with a little game of roof top muff bop. Welcome summer like an old friend. An old friend with a vagina.

Happy days.

5 Comments »

  1. OH dude i’m totally gonna do that this weekend….or fail spectacularly in the process.

    nothing like being discovered by a group of hikers from the local church in mid thrust. that was one of the best “caught” moments ever.

    there’s a good topic for ya, times you’ve been caught with a woman, or injuries caused during sex…or property damage incurred during sex…the list goes on!

    Comment by matt k — June 3, 2008 @ 10:07 pm | Reply

  2. Ooh.

    I’ve got a load of those stories too. Especially recently.

    Actually, this one time, I broke a mirrored head board with my forehead, then saw a black cat in the street and then walked under a ladder all within an hour of each other. It was pretty amazing. I’m still alive after all.

    Comment by missedmanners — June 3, 2008 @ 11:43 pm | Reply

  3. lol, i put my girlfriend at the time (this was ’01 when i was a whopping 20 yrs old) right through the drywall into the next room.

    see, i had her up on my dresser, it’s a low dresser so you know the position, bout waist high…yeah you get it…and she wrapped her legs around me, i picked her up, it was supposed to be romantic, carry to the bed and never have to stop…well somebody, not pointing fingers or anything, tripped over a pair of jeans and fell forward, and in the recovery process, a wall got in the way. i still talk to her😉

    Comment by matt k — June 4, 2008 @ 4:46 pm | Reply

  4. […] until October. I??m languishing in my little cubby hole of a bedroom sweating into my sheets andhttps://missedmanners.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/hot/How to Spend 20 Box Office ProphetsWelcome to How to Spend 20, BOP’s look at the latest DVDs to hit […]

    Pingback by bop — June 4, 2008 @ 7:49 pm | Reply

  5. what?

    Comment by matt k — June 5, 2008 @ 4:55 pm | Reply


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