Miss(ed) Manners

April 11, 2008

Back, I Promise!

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 1:15 pm
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Alright. So with the below mentioned craziness, I’ve spent the last two weeks doing two people’s jobs as those around me continue to be ineffective at life in general.

However, I’ve purchased a laptop which really ought to eliminate every excuse for not posting every single fucking day. So here I am promising at least a sentence every day.

Also, I saw a very funny thing on the subway to work today.

It was a hipster. If you guys don’t know what New York breed hipsters look like let me give you a hint: They’re different! Or at least that’s what they’re all trying to be. However, they all end up looking exactly the fucking same. They wear the same rainbow brite vest, the same dingy corduroys, the same purposefully out of date oddly rimmed eye glasses. You can even notice slight changes in their group-think style because they all change styles at the same time.

Here’s an example:

It’s like they get each month’s Vice Magazine Do’s tattooed on their tiny hipster penis and then subsequently lasered off and replaced at press time.

Anyway, I saw this one kid who decided to taint my neighborhood with his homogeneous individuality and he was wearing a t-shirt with the phrase, “Waldorf School,” in silly little yellow letters over a rainbow. Seriously.

Which suddenly explained the whole thing to me. Every hipster went to a fucking Waldorf school. My best friend went to a Waldorf school, they’re like hipster Hitler Youth summer camps. You learn German at age two, dip beeswax candles at age 3 and then learn interpretive dance K through fucking 12.

Every Waldorf kid I knew as a youth has lived for at least five weeks in Williamsburg. Coincidence? I think not.

Mystery SOLVED.

6 Comments »

  1. I still don’t know how to dip beeswax candles. I feel so ashamed😦

    Comment by aniche — April 11, 2008 @ 1:17 pm | Reply

  2. It’s surprisingly easy. You dip a string in wax, let it dry, repeat, voila: Candle. It’s actually crazy fun to do in a watching paint dry sort of way.

    I was about this | | close to being a Waldorf kid myself, but my older brother got run over by a bus on his way to school one day and voila: I was a public school kid.

    But that’s another story for another time. Voila!

    Just wanted to say that again.

    Comment by missedmanners — April 11, 2008 @ 1:32 pm | Reply

  3. I take exception to this post. I would argue, I bet rightfully so, that most hipsters are WANNABE waldorf kids, as true waldorf kids are actually far stranger and if not completely independent of a style guide, than at least two years off in their particular cult of strange accoutrements. Like your brother or me🙂

    Comment by saigray — April 11, 2008 @ 2:35 pm | Reply

  4. Hehehe. Well you know Jon, and fortunately since he was run over, he was spared the Eurythmi training and was then raised as a small town country boy.

    I can only imagine if he hadn’t been crushed under those wheels, my little niece would surely have a father with nappy white-guy dreads and two vestigial scarves.

    :-*

    Comment by missedmanners — April 11, 2008 @ 2:41 pm | Reply

  5. Apparently, judging by the closet door, this type has an insane urge to hoard shiny women’s accessories.

    Oh yeah, tons of cool.

    -Ally

    Comment by Ally — April 11, 2008 @ 5:51 pm | Reply

  6. Welcome back you slacker do not take off like that again sheesh.

    Comment by max — April 11, 2008 @ 7:00 pm | Reply


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