Miss(ed) Manners

January 3, 2008

The Battle of Pelennor Fields (Kid-Safe Edition)

Filed under: Awesome,Candy,Humor — missedmanners @ 10:28 am

(For those of you who don’t remember, this is really a continuation of last year’s project: The Battle of Helm’s Deep )

(Due to popular request, this version is cleaned up for the kids.)

What I Did Over THIS Christmas Break:My brothers, sister, myself and some of our friends built a scale model of Minas Tirith during the Battle of Pelennor Fields from the novel, The Return of the King, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

(All of these images are clickable if you can’t see the whole thing)


Behold, the White City of Minas Tirith is under siege by one of the largest, and certainly the tastiest army ever to walk Middle Earth. For two days the evil host, under the brutal licorice fist of the Witch King of Angmar has bombarded the ancient city with stone and fire.


Amazing how much those stones look like green marshmallows, eh? Here you can see some of the city’s garrison trying to clear the south east gate of the second ring of debris. If only they had arms. Coincidentally, you can also see the exquisite craftsmanship of the ancient men of the West (which would actually be myself and my little brother Danny). Apparently there was a HUGE licorice all-sorts boom at the beginning of the Second Age.

Now as we climb the walls into the interior rings the rocky central precipice juts out over the city like a tangy ship rudder.


The streets are almost completely deserted, of course. Because war is very scary. Even for Gummy Bears. Even the meticulously paved ramps and individually placed windows are empty. I use the words meticulously and individually so that you can get an idea of just how much a pain building this was. Meticulously. Individually.


Ah, here we have the sole gardens of the city outside of the Houses of Healing. The fact that I knew these were the sole gardens in the city and that I took the time to put them in made me the focus of a bout of fifteen minutes of pointed laughter. But isn’t it worth it? Don’t those gardens look awesome? They’ve got marshmallow plants, which are about thirty times cooler than real plants.


This is the Tower of Ecthelion. If a candy tower could be measured in units of pimpness, this candy tower would be off the charts. And if that wasn’t awesome enough, in front you can clearly see the White Tree of Gondor, which I made out of white chocolate pretzels. Give me my Nobel Prize now, thankyouverymuch.


Tolkien made a real point of mentioning how there was this “Kingly Head” statue right above the gate to the citadel. So we made a real point out of biting the head off of a Gummy Bear and sticking it there.

But enough about the city, there’s a battle going on! Let’s take a look:


At this point, the Riders of Rohan have already arrived and they’ve completely owned the Orc forces. It’s hard to see here, but they’re riding on majestic Gummy Frog mounts and are doing heinous battle with the Mumakil Elephant warriors.


Now, on this side of the battle field you can see Aragorn’s forces streaming off the stolen Corsairs and doing battle with Sauron’s evil sweetness. Also, you can see that the main gate of Minas Tirith has been breached by Grond, the giant battering ram, and now the men of the city are sallying forth to join in on the wholesale butt-whooping. Let’s take a closer look at all of these.


First, here you can see the dead Lord of the Nazgul and his crazy bird like black licorice rope mount. He’s already killed Theoden and beaten the sweet out of Merry and Eowyn. I’d say this scene is kind of sad if it weren’t for the sheer awesomeness of that black dragon type thing. I mean, really.


Just like last year, the Riders of Rohan have come to the rescue. For the sake of simplicity we made all the good guys yellow and White Gummy Bears and the Bad Guys Red, Orange, Green and Black. This is in no way any kind of remark on culturally preconceived notions of morality and how it relates to skin color. Except for Green people. They are lazy thieves.


Now this kind of sucks. The Riders of Rohan, right after saving the day, AGAIN, have to fight gigantic Elephants. My older brother was in charge of this part of production, and I think we can all agree he knocked it out of the park. Circus Peanut bodies on top of gum drop legs, licorice nib trunks, chocolate pretzels for the men of Harad to stand on and shoot from. How on earth could any sugar-based army stand up against such crazy power?


This is Grond. Yes, Tolkien named EVERYTHING even battering rams. I know you can see that it’s pretty awesome just from this picture alone. However, what you can’t see is that our Grond actually swings back and forth. On LICORICE ROPES. Props to my friend Brian for putting that one together.


This is the final detail shot, because it’s the coolest. Aragorn’s army is just pouring off of those stolen Corsairs like really fast molasses (which is like light speed for candy). With their arrival the tide of the battle turns and the evil, though tasty army, is destroyed to a gum drop.

Soon after a miniature gummy hobbit named Frodo succeeds in casting the One Ring Pop of Power into the molten chocolate fondue of Mount Doom and then peace, prosperity and pizelles returned to Middle Earth. Or something like that.

Hope you guys enjoy this as much as we enjoyed making it.

I’d like to thank my brothers, Dan and Jon. My little sister, Katie. My other little sister, Lis. My buddies, Brian and Brendan, and my best friend, Sunshine. Without them this would have never been made.

Happy (Belated) Holidays!

PS: I also took a video.


  1. La batalla más dulce que nunca hayas visto

    Sin duda es el más sabroso ejercito a pie de la Edad Media.

    Trackback by meneame.net — January 8, 2008 @ 7:58 am | Reply

  2. The video was like flying on the back of a Winged Wraith! Swoosh!!

    Comment by kams — January 8, 2008 @ 4:04 pm | Reply

  3. I am impressed.

    One thing though. It would be better with gingerbread instead of cardboard… 😉


    Comment by Svaje — January 9, 2008 @ 8:51 am | Reply

  4. Wow! That is a massive gingerbread house, I know it’s not gingerbread(!) Would have taken hours and hours.

    Comment by Jenny Esots — January 9, 2008 @ 10:47 pm | Reply

  5. […] la Batalla de Pelennor hecha completamente con […]

    Pingback by Una batalla hecha con dulces | Zujar Blog (Rastreando la Web) — January 10, 2008 @ 5:23 am | Reply

  6. […] Un montón de fotos de la maqueta aquí […]

    Pingback by Minas Tirith durante la batalla de Pelennor | Entre machacas y becarios — January 10, 2008 @ 9:51 am | Reply

  7. Merry Christmas. I just wonder what you’ll do NEXT year.

    Comment by justinmohareb — January 10, 2008 @ 11:31 am | Reply

  8. OUTSTANDING!!!! Next year, could you do Faramir and Denethor’s death pyre? You could use any kind of cooking oil and marshmallow to get the total flame experience!

    Congrats to all of you!


    Comment by Liquidiamonds — January 10, 2008 @ 1:59 pm | Reply

  9. I am in awe… or maybe just a diabetic coma. That is just incredible.

    So, next year… Helms Deep, or Hoth?

    Comment by kitsunealyc — January 10, 2008 @ 2:37 pm | Reply

  10. […] above was actually from last year.  This year, they’ve done The Battle of Pelennor Fields (the siege of Minas Tirith).  It’s truly made of awesome.  And candy.  Awesome […]

    Pingback by I Want Candy! — Logomacy — January 10, 2008 @ 4:30 pm | Reply

  11. Absolutely fabulous. Wish you had posted time spent, amount of candy, cost, and the origin of the idea. My seven-year-old grandson should get a kick out of this. And thank you, by the way, for making it kid friendly so that he can.

    Comment by Johnnye — January 10, 2008 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

  12. Hey, no problem. I’ll be the first to agree that I’ve got a foul mouth. And while sometimes I think little kids that swear are both cute and hilarious, why encourage such behavior?

    Thanks everyone for the comments!

    Comment by missedmanners — January 10, 2008 @ 5:50 pm | Reply

  13. What state standard is this?

    Comment by Tami — January 10, 2008 @ 10:23 pm | Reply

  14. […] muchas más fotos y detalles de la construcción en el blog del autor, que ya se pasó las Navidades anteriores reconstruyendo el Abismo de […]

    Pingback by Halón Disparado » Hay que ser friki — January 12, 2008 @ 6:25 am | Reply

  15. […] Más fotos e información en la web del artista. […]

    Pingback by Tranpalitu » Blog Archive » Golosinas y Minas Tirith — January 12, 2008 @ 12:23 pm | Reply

  16. […] he enterado de que hay un tipo que dedica las navidades a montar escenas del señor de los anillos con chucherías. No está mal. Se nota que los pobres guiris adolecen el hecho de no tener […]

    Pingback by Artesanía en estado puro, oiga | LOLO punto ES — January 13, 2008 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  17. OMFG!!! kid safe xlation~ Oh My Flavorful Goodies!
    I am truely more than impressed, awesome job….you & your crew truely out did yourselves this time it looks like the Helms Deep was done by a little kid compared to this masterful piece of delectible art! Kudos on getting the family into this too. What a great way to create family memories that will be super sweet to tell the grandkids one day! The family that gets sticky together has fun together. To all those haters from last year and any potential this year. Some nerds do get the babes…I (a once exotic adult dancer)Im married 15 yrs to a D&D geek (who I met at the club I worked at). Hubby suggested for next year perhaps the battle scene in Willow including the depiction of the orc(?) who transmuted into a 2 headed dragon(?). Loki is on the floor laughing his godly butt off at your brand of holiday mischief!! Rock on ya all. Can’t wait to see next year’s creation. Love and blessings ~ Teri

    Comment by Teri — January 13, 2008 @ 4:27 pm | Reply

  18. That is possibly the best thing I have ever seen in my life. Kudos to you guys. Seriously!

    Comment by Helen — January 14, 2008 @ 4:37 am | Reply

  19. Simply astounding. I’m going to go on record and agree with Teri there that this blows Helm’s Deep completely out of the water. While playing WoW last night, I was reminding some friends that the geeks WILL inherit the Earth. (And Middle Earth as well!) Rock on guys, and rock on Teri.

    Comment by Bruce B — January 15, 2008 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  20. I think that’s a fabulous use of time! Well done and keep up the good work!

    Comment by Tracey — January 15, 2008 @ 2:49 pm | Reply

  21. That’s pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Thank you and good work! 🙂

    Comment by Dom — January 16, 2008 @ 1:01 pm | Reply

  22. […] Batalla de los Campos del Pelennor… ¡con gominolas! (enlace) increíble reproducción de la batalla que marcó el destino de la Tierra Media… (gracias […]

    Pingback by Enlazator 2.10 | Aglarond Blog — January 20, 2008 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  23. Does it worry you as much as it worries me this is your universal claim to fame? Surely the fortune cookie post deserves as much love. I am just sayin’.

    Comment by max — January 21, 2008 @ 10:56 am | Reply

  24. Wow. Howl’s Moving Castle? That is downright romantic.

    Comment by max — February 25, 2008 @ 10:36 pm | Reply

  25. […] of the city walls. You can see all the photos, plus the entertaining explanation by the artists here. It’s really […]

    Pingback by The Ultimate Sugar Geek Sculpture — March 10, 2008 @ 1:07 am | Reply

  26. Unbelievable! I’m sure it’s delicious, but I wouldn’t dare ruin such masterpiece by eating it.


    Comment by ambush101 — March 13, 2008 @ 10:19 pm | Reply

  27. Impressive!

    Comment by Sam — December 16, 2008 @ 11:28 am | Reply

  28. loving it, and strangely compelled to take a bite out of one of the walls 🙂

    Comment by rob — December 19, 2008 @ 8:19 am | Reply

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