1: So I could go back to 1979 with a digital music player and a modern custom car stereo and just wow the high waisted pants off some Parker Posey look-a-like, a la Dazed and Confused.
2: Obviously traveling to key sexy time moments and punching myself into an unconscious oblivion to prevent the shame. Oh the shame.
3: Heading back to Thermopylae and begging the Spartans there to just go home and spare us all the eight billion memes their heroic deaths were apparently for.
4: Two Words: The Wheel.
5: Two more words: Cavelady booty. Everybody loves an inventor.