Miss(ed) Manners

July 23, 2007

Like a Goddamned Banana

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 12:08 pm

Like the inevitable procession of the equinox over the countless eons of time is the undeniable truth that following a brutally severe sun burn, I will peel like an old snake in a too small cage at the zoo.

The whole peeling stage of the sunburn process is kind of a shamefully indulgent period. While I can’t go walking around without a shirt, like I love to do, especially in the financial district… I do get to while away the hours by satiating my deep seated need to just pick pick pick.

Is there nothing more satisfying than peeling a piece of skin off your chest the size of a dollar?

What’s that you say? Almost anything would be more satisfying than that? Lies.

Oh and thanks to everyone for the advice on how to handle my incredibly painful sunburn. I appreciate it.

Today I’m going to spend an hour in the steam room at my gym and try to boil the rest of this shit off, bisque style.

I hope you’re all thoroughly grossed out now.

PS: Now that I’ve dried out a little from my morning shower I’ve been pretending that I’m a leper and walking with a limp.

5 Comments »

  1. I’m keenly ill now from the visual.

    Just keenly, I’m saving deathly for the times I drink tequila.

    Hope you’re feeling better!

    Wear Effing Suncreen,
    Ally

    Comment by Ally — July 23, 2007 @ 6:15 pm | Reply

  2. i just posted a link to your site of awesomeness for all to see, and now here is what all of my unsuspecting link-ees have to look forward to.

    dude, seriously, unpleasant visuals up in there.

    how about a nice big hug?! it’s been too long!!

    Comment by MissBlueSky — July 23, 2007 @ 9:03 pm | Reply

  3. I wish you beautiful scabs, Dave.

    Have I told you lately how much I appreciate your writing? If not, I’ve been f-ing remiss in not doing so.

    Best,
    Laurie

    Comment by lauriekendrick — July 23, 2007 @ 9:26 pm | Reply

  4. When you leave the steam room, do you think you could glue that peeled skin together into a parchment and write a book?

    I’m just asking

    Comment by whazzup — July 23, 2007 @ 9:28 pm | Reply

  5. Ally: I try to be as descriptive as possible. Especially when writing about how foul and disgusting I am at any certain points. Just be happy I haven’t taken a turn for the scatological.

    Melissa! Melissa! I lurve you!😀 When are we doing the next race to ten? You know my schedule’s open, woman.

    Laurie: I just appreciate you. (that period was supposed to be pronounced, as in “comma period”)

    Whazzup: The steam room was woefully ineffective. I started peeling on the underside of my neck last night, what the fuck?

    Comment by missedmanners — July 24, 2007 @ 9:25 am | Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: