Miss(ed) Manners

July 16, 2007

Toasted

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 1:29 pm

lobster.jpg

That’s me right there.

Spent the weekend upstate relaxing again, with my terrific gal-pal Sunshine, who’s aptly named because we spent all day Saturday roasting next to a local pond. While I’m a huge fan of having a little color in my cheeks I overdid it quite a bit and I’m currently in pain in all of the following places:

  • Back
  • Chest
  • Arms
  • Face
  • Knees
  • Feet
  • Thighs (which are by far the worst).

I’m thinking of spending the next couple of days wearing satin pajamas and underwear made from aloe extract.

OW.

The worst is we came back to New York and went right to a party where of course there was much hugging and back slapping.

Double OW.

Then there was much merriment and laughter and knee slapping.

Triple OW.

Maybe I’ll go bare back riding or something today.

Quadruple ouchers.

4 Comments »

  1. Oh, agony dude. “Roasting” ? Sounds like you were rotating on a spit under a broiler.

    Better you than me but ouch I’m hurting for you.

    Wish I could offer some miracle cure like…I don’t know, maybe bathing in cinnamon milk with jalapeño-laced pomegranate juice. Nah, probably wouldn’t work.

    Comment by Conundrum — July 16, 2007 @ 4:02 pm | Reply

  2. you know, i have no sympathy lol. i’ve been trying to get a tan since summer began…i’m starting to look a little bit italian right now….but i’m really shooting for something resembling an east indian.
    so screw you ya red skinned bastard, you’re gonna have a beautiful tan……once the peeling stops…baaahahaaa

    Comment by matt k — July 17, 2007 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

  3. Listen to the advice of a pale Irish girl doomed to burn for eternity, or at least when not wearing spf50 even in the winter:

    Take Motrin. It will help with the swelling.
    Buy Eucering Burn Cream. Yes, just like they use in the hospitals. Trust me. It will prevent you from blistering and scarring like something out of a horror movie.
    Take cool showers, not hot and skip the cold showers. (I’d suggest masterbate, but I don’t think that’s going to help.)
    Take a sleep aid to make it through the night, no reason to wake up in pain and lose sleep.

    Okay, that’s all I have for you.

    Well, maybe one more thing:

    Wear Sunscreen!

    Best Wishes,
    One Very Pale Ally

    Comment by Ally — July 20, 2007 @ 6:12 pm | Reply

  4. Awe you guys rock.

    Except you, Matt. I hope you get scurvy.
    😉

    Comment by missedmanners — July 23, 2007 @ 12:16 pm | Reply


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