Miss(ed) Manners

June 8, 2007

Ask Dave! Vol. 2

Filed under: Advice,Ask Dave,Humor,Romance,Sex — missedmanners @ 10:22 am

So, I’m 4 months shy of turning 40 of which I’m rather looking forward to. how come every guy I’ve met lately who has an interest in me is YOUNGER than me? yeah, I’m a hottie for my age, but that’s beside the point. What’s a girl to do?


Forty and Foxy

Okay, so I added that last part on.

This is my kind of question! What you’re talking about is the oft documented, but seldom pan-gender discussed phenomena of the… duh duh daaaaaa… “Cougar!”

If you don’t know what a Cougar is, you’ve probably been living under a rock for the last couple of years. The term has made a popular surge into the national limelight. Here’s a quick definition:

A Cougar is usually defined as a single woman in her late 30’s to early 50’s who craves the kind of man-love that only a young buck can provide. These ladies of the early evening hotel happy hour search high and low with a veracity usually associated with men. Any man who’s ever been courted, seduced or hit over the head with a crude wooden club by a Cougar can attest to the awesome sexperience that follows.

Now, I’m not saying that you ARE a Cougar. Most likely, you’re not out every night hunting for the young man essence that these creatures so desperately crave. What you’re experiencing is actually what I like to call the Cougar Resonance Effect. It’s a nationally altered mood about the feasibility of Fall-Spring relationships, primarily those involving an older woman.

Traditionally, older men have been the only group that have been culturally approved to grab a young trophy girlfriend. While some may look at it with disdain, there is not a man in the world who does not harbor a tiny bit of pride in their sex whenever they see that. Whenever a silver fox CEO saunters into a bar with what is most likely an exotic dancer of some sort on his arm, he gets a thousand invisible back pats from every dude around. That’s just the truth.

Now, with the advent, acceptance and popularity of the Cougar phenomenon, young men the world over have become open to the idea of dating older women. Why?

Because older women are about 50% less crazy than women in their 20’s. Ask any man who’s dated girls in their mid to late twenties, that’s a time that is RIFE with issues. You’ve got the internal battle with the biological clock, the whole career or kids decision, the search for self, etc. etc. It’s a turbulent time to say the least. One could say that all girls in their 20’s are ostensibly nuts, so why deal with it? Why not wait until they’ve got that shit figured out?

As young men the world over wrestled with that question, the Cougar made her ascent to national popularity. Here, now on the horizon, a generation of men adrift in a sea of eight year long engagements and flirting with people through ghastly means like Myspace or Match.com or whatever, have seen an alternative. And that alternative is stable, beautiful and probably makes more money than they do (which inspires the thought of perhaps… just maybe, a real dutch romance).

The rules have changed. You don’t need to date within your graduating high school year anymore. I’m terribly loathe to use a celebrity example, but hell, that whole Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher thing did wonders for this newly acceptable means of romance.

So there, that’s the reason why you’re meeting so many younger men. What are you supposed to do about it?

Keep an open mind to the possibility. Age is only as important as you make it and everyone loves a little trophy here and there, right? It’s certainly not something that you have to do, but just the fact that it’s accepted now is at least some social progress.

Take part if you like, but at the very least, revel in this little bit of sexual equality that has become all the vogue.


  1. Isnt’ that Sir thing a pisser? Just when you are having fun with the “youts”. oy.

    Comment by Daniel — June 11, 2007 @ 12:41 pm | Reply

  2. what insightful advice you’ve provided Dave. yes, since the whole Demi/Ashton romance, younger men and older women have taken a plunge into relationships that was once considered taboo.

    agreed that age is nothing but a number and there could be much to revel in if pursued, but that’s simply on the physical side. some of the youngun, while full of stamina can’t do the other things that the more worldly woman might still need. and that my dear is where the problem often lies. an older man could care less for post coital conversation or a conversation period, while the older woman sometimes wants a little more than ruffled sheets and discarded condom wrappers. another point i need to make is that older woman possess a certain sexual prowess that might snare the youngun and he might want more than she’s willing to offer once the wrapper has been discarded. oh, the double edged sword indeed.

    thanks for your in-depth and well articulated thoughts. you’ve given “foxy and forty” something to consider.

    Comment by BluJewel — June 12, 2007 @ 9:19 am | Reply

  3. Dave should have mentioned the educational trip taken to gather such info.


    Comment by commando — June 20, 2007 @ 4:03 pm | Reply

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