Miss(ed) Manners

May 9, 2007

Sock it to Me

Filed under: Humor — missedmanners @ 11:42 am

Oh man am I glad this past weekend’s event is over. I’m rapidly approaching a summer of care-free fun at break neck speed and the weather is just gorgeous. But with all this excellence just around the corner I’ve only got one thing on my mind today.

Socks.

dzplainwhitesocks.jpg

Every couple of years I do a complete sock exchange. I take every single sock in my sock drawer and throw them out and replace them with new ones. Two dozen white, two dozen black, all the same kind. I recommend this practice for anyone who’s ever spent more than two minutes searching for mismatched socks in the laundry. Throw them OUT. They’re socks, not children, they are exceedingly inexpensive. There is absolutely no reason to hang on to socks for more than a few years.

New socks feel nice, they make your feet happy. They make doing the laundry easy. They make life more fun. If everyone around the world had new socks it would be a better place. If you’ve got a drawer full of socks that are a billion shades of black and white and you sit on your bed wondering if two socks match just enough for you to walk to work and not feel like everyone is staring at your ankles secretly laughing at your lack of organization, then do this. Hell, everyone should do this.

Except if you pay more than like, a dollar per sock. If you buy designer socks to wear around every day, kindly throw yourself in a river and forget how to swim. If you’ve got socks with a designer name on them you should tattoo that name on your forehead and THEN throw yourself in the river. If you’re the kind of guy who wears those argyle socks under jeans so that they show just enough when you sit down in a cafe to read your obscure book by some obscure poet, please throw your self in a river with a French sounding name and forget to how to le swim.

7 Comments »

  1. I couldn’t agree more. My teenage son’s sock drawer gets thrown out twice a year. The smell could kill ya.
    Peace !

    Comment by mitch — May 9, 2007 @ 12:57 pm | Reply

  2. My mom has a laundry basket full of unmatched from probably the last decade. Literally hundreds of socks. Every month or so, she has my brother and sister match them in front of the TV, since, you know, there could have been new, useful additions to the collection over the past 4 loads of laundry.

    There are, on average, zero new matches.

    Comment by BFD — May 9, 2007 @ 5:11 pm | Reply

  3. Ohmygosh, what a great idea. Our laundry basket of unmatched socks lives perpetually in my bedroom, where we all search through it hopefully once in a while, as if newly matched socks will magically appear.

    We do need a couple of sizes of socks in my house, but other than that, there’s no reason they couldn’t all be the same.

    Goal for today: throwing out the basket of unmatched socks. Thanks! 😀

    Comment by tiffanytaylor — May 10, 2007 @ 8:32 am | Reply

  4. To make myself sound like a total crazy, I just finished reading your entire blog. I have a desk job so I sit here on the computer a lot, and it’s been quite entertaining to read your entries.

    Comment by andria — May 10, 2007 @ 11:09 am | Reply

  5. Everyone needs to do this, any discount store will hook you up with crazy amounts of socks for almost no money. My sock replacement? $20.

    For the cost of a movie and snacks I have reclad my feetses in comfy cotton.

    Andria: Thanks!😀 I was thinking of reposting the original story that got me into blogging, I’ll try and get to that next week.

    Comment by missedmanners — May 10, 2007 @ 11:13 am | Reply

  6. u know Dave, that’s one hell of an idea. i had a bag full of mixed mated socks and eventually ended up using some as cleaning rags and tossed the rest out. periodically buying new ones in favor of tossing the old would prolly save time and energy, but you gotta admit, there is some off fun is trying to pair them up. actually, they’d come in handy for just lounging around or soaking them in water and freezing them. once frozen you attack your drunk/passed out friends with them. *lmao*

    Comment by BluJewel — May 17, 2007 @ 2:13 pm | Reply

  7. Blu.

    That idea is WAY better than just throwing them out lol!

    Comment by missedmanners — May 21, 2007 @ 1:20 pm | Reply


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