Not a tapeworm, although that would be awesome. Imagine actually being hungry all the time (I’ll talk about this tomorrow), and being able to eat all you want and not get fat. As long as you get past the fact that you’ve got a twenty foot parasite living inside of you it would rule, especially considering the fact that I have to deal with five to six foot tall parasites all the damn time.
Not a tequila worm either, though thanks for the assumption about my philandering alcoholic ways.
Nope, I got the early worm today. Lately I’ve been living off my phone. It’s one of those awesome Pocket PC type deals and I’ve got a slew of alarms, notifications, dates, numbers, addresses and pictures on it. Remember the tri-corder from Star Trek? No? Good, you’re not a virgin. In any case, my phone makes the tri-corder look like a broken anal thermometer if only for the simple fact that I can watch PORN on it. Yes. Porn.
But it’s a little complicated. Today I woke up a full hour early because of an alarm I’d set two weeks ago. I had slept through it last Wednesday because I’d been drunker than Paula Abdul at a free oxycontin giveaway party in the Valley. This morning I just thought I was unreasonably tired. I shook off the sleepiness, got showered and headed to work.
Compound with this the fact that Saturday was the beginning of Daylight Savings Time and I was actually up two hours early. My super survival senses finally told me this as I waited for the train and watched the sun come up.
That’s it really. Not much else to tell. I’ve gotten an hour head start on the day. Breakfast: Eaten. Email: Checked and sorted. Post breakfast cigarette: smoked.
Basically I’ve got an extra hour today to do with as I please. I’d appreciate some suggestions.