Recently I saw the movie, V for Vendetta. I may or may not have been high at the time. One of the main messages from the movie is that there are no coincidences. The other main message is that Natalie Portman is hot no matter what.
As I sit here in my Guy Fawkes mask, listening to the 1812 Overture and staring a lesbian movie poster, I realize that the message rings true. There are NO coincidences, only conspiracies and conspiracies to start conspiracies which look like coincidences but in fact would simply be conspiracies by their very nature.
My boss has one of those fancy little Treo phones. She sends emails, pictures, texts, videos and sometimes candy over the airwaves. She loves that thing though two days ago it stopped working. It wasn’t a slow death, there was no drained battery or noticeably deteorating screen-light. It just died and refused to turn back on.
Now, nothing conspiratorial about that at all, right?
Well when she started looking for her warranty she noticed something odd. It was going to end in TWO hours! I shit you not. Because that would be gross, shitting someone.
By sheer force of luck, (which I do believe in) she was able to get through the mire of human stupidity that is Cingular’s support center and she got her phone replaced.
The conspiracy here?
Obviously there is a microchip embedded in all cingular phones that implodes on or around the date of its warranty expiration. Thoughts?