Miss(ed) Manners

November 28, 2006

Reasons 1-5 Why Benjamin Bratt is a National Security Threat

Filed under: Announcements,Humor,Random — missedmanners @ 12:23 pm

#1) It’s a little known fact that Bratt was constructed from spare pieces of a dismantled Cold War Era Inter-continental Ballistic Missile.

#2) It’s a well known fact that Benjamin “Destroyer of Worlds” Bratt was the spawn of a twisted sexual union between a Centaur and a Blowfish, the Blowfish in question being the Bassist for the popular 90’s band, Hootie and the Blowfish. Hootie watched.

#3) It’s a moderately known fact that Ben was only offered the role of Detective Rey Curtis on NBC’s Law and Order after eviscerating the network’s president with the dull end of a plastic flashlight.

#4) It’s rumored among esoteric circles that Bratt is actually the literal basis for several creatures in the Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition Monster Beastiary.

#5) It’s a fairly to slightly above average known fact that BB was responsible for the vicious Collect Call ad-wars of the late 90’s early 00’s and posesses the power to shapeshift into Carrottop up to three times a day.


  1. What is your beef with BB man? I know he’s kinda strange looking, but outside of that, what’s wrong with him?

    Comment by BluJewel — November 28, 2006 @ 10:43 pm | Reply

  2. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, keep this up and you’ll be on the receiving end of c&d letters. *sigh*

    Comment by Eileen — November 29, 2006 @ 2:35 pm | Reply

  3. I think he’s gorgeous.

    Comment by Kendra — June 25, 2007 @ 8:26 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: