Miss(ed) Manners

November 28, 2006

Reasons 1-5 Why Benjamin Bratt is a National Security Threat

Filed under: Announcements,Humor,Random — missedmanners @ 12:23 pm

#1) It’s a little known fact that Bratt was constructed from spare pieces of a dismantled Cold War Era Inter-continental Ballistic Missile.

#2) It’s a well known fact that Benjamin “Destroyer of Worlds” Bratt was the spawn of a twisted sexual union between a Centaur and a Blowfish, the Blowfish in question being the Bassist for the popular 90’s band, Hootie and the Blowfish. Hootie watched.

#3) It’s a moderately known fact that Ben was only offered the role of Detective Rey Curtis on NBC’s Law and Order after eviscerating the network’s president with the dull end of a plastic flashlight.

#4) It’s rumored among esoteric circles that Bratt is actually the literal basis for several creatures in the Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition Monster Beastiary.

#5) It’s a fairly to slightly above average known fact that BB was responsible for the vicious Collect Call ad-wars of the late 90’s early 00’s and posesses the power to shapeshift into Carrottop up to three times a day.

3 Comments »

  1. What is your beef with BB man? I know he’s kinda strange looking, but outside of that, what’s wrong with him?

    Comment by BluJewel — November 28, 2006 @ 10:43 pm | Reply

  2. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, keep this up and you’ll be on the receiving end of c&d letters. *sigh*

    Comment by Eileen — November 29, 2006 @ 2:35 pm | Reply

  3. I think he’s gorgeous.

    Comment by Kendra — June 25, 2007 @ 8:26 pm | Reply


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