The title for this post was shamelessly stolen from Bluejewel over at Is it Just Me?, one of the more than awesome blogs I read. Having been busy all week and completely uninspired, I saw her post of the same name and it got me in a real Wednesday type of introspective staring out the window at rain droplets and considering mid-afternoon drinking sort of mood.
Here are my “why’s.”
Why did NBC jump the shark with the show Ed and let Carol Vessey and Ed get together? Once the show was canceled WEDnesday was never the same. Where can I go for snarky dialog and the smooth as silk on screen persona of Tom Cavanaugh? His house? They won’t let me near there anymore.
Why do people putter around the end of a telephone conversation tossing in little “hmm’s” and “okay’s” just so that you can say, “bye” at the same time? It’s not a hostage exchange, I trust you to hang up the phone.
Why do I have a soft spot for the type of poppy adult contemporary that will ultimately be playing when my headphones accidentally become disconnected from my phone/mp3 player and blare it into a crowded subway car?
Why is that I get a billion boner pill spam messages every day? Does something about my online persona scream impotence?
Why do people stand at the top of stairs? Don’t they know that I’m just a few stopped-strides from going Ong Bak: Thai Warrior on them and sending them careening downwards with a flying knee-strike to the neck nape?
Why can’t the world recognize this man for the danger he is? He must be stopped.
Why do people press an already lit elevator button? Are there elevator gnomes who’ll say, “Oh shit, three button presses on elevator bank six! We better get moving, Mervin.”
What am I going to do for dinner tonight? Shit. Nevermind.
Why do I have recurring dreams of Saved By the Bell starring me and former Secretary of State Madeline Albright?