RIP Bruno Kirby. Funnyman, character actor, man who let us all in on the Blowjobtoberfest that is the Port Authority bathrooms. You know who sucks the best dick? Leo Dicaprio, that’s who. Big ups.
Anyway, did I miss a crucial news update? Did we start making eyeglasses out of enriched Uranium? I went to my neighborhood Lenscrafters (store #45567) and picked up a new pair yesterday. They were almost as much as my rent. I keep looking for the button that deploys the oil slicks, smoke screen and caltrops but none of the letters in “Versace” work.😦
Now, I’m alright with this, mainly because I look really fucking good in my new glasses, like Plastikman era Richie Hawtin’s hotter older brother. (See Below)
While on one hand I’m out enough loot to buy a black market kidney, on the other I can actually wear my glasses again, which is good because apparently you’re not supposed to wear contacts for six months straight and stare at the sun while rubbing raw chicken on your retina.
Though, last night I was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn meeting my friend Nick for some iced peppermint tea and logo design for my Dad’s upcoming cichlid sales website. Normally I don’t venture into that area the same way people don’t like to come to mine. They’re afraid of getting mugged, and I’m afraid becoming violently ill at the sight of so many fucking trust fund spending, obscure music listening, rank and file hipsters.
So while we sat around the Laptop and listened to some sort of piped in German Folk music that’s only cool if you’re cool enough to know the story behind it or something, I realized I was about 50% less out of place there with my new glasses on. Not cool.
We wrapped the meeting up soon after that and I’m putting my contacts back in tomorrow.